Planning a Visit in 4 Steps by Nana & Popou

1. Plan for weeks that you are coming from South Florida to visit us Mother's Day Weekend
2. Call 10 days prior to said visit and cancel due to another obligation thus crushing grand children's spirits and brightening son-in-law's
3. Call one hour later and announce you may be coming THIS weekend and will let us know
4. Call six hours later and say, "Sheerel, we're 40 miles out of Tampa."

They got in at 1am Friday morning and left before dawn this morning. Do other people's parents arrive and depart under cover of darkness or just mine?

So. I took my mom to Wal-Mart for some new prescription sunglasses for Mother's Day. There was a LIVE Mariachi band playing next to the Food Court in anticipation of Cinqo de Mayo. And because everyone knows that Mexican Polka music is much better enjoyed with a sinus headache, you can imagine my elation. THEN this woman in a lavender jersey pantsuit totally wiped out in the lobby of the Vision Center. She said she was trying to sit down on one of those rolling stools but I think it was actually a Chicken Dance accident. Ever watch AFV? It happens.

Later that day, only somewhat recovered from what will from now on be referred to simply as "the Vision Center Incident," Mom and I went to Costco to buy a beef tenderloin. We came home with a 42" flat screen TV and a case of wine. Some people buy packs of gum or magazines on impulse. These people are amateurs.

Sunday evening, in preparation of their departure, Dad went through his usual ritual of filling up his two ginormous coolers with ice for the drive home. He proceeded to dump EVERY cube from our ice maker into his coolers, making a several minute long ruckus during Masterpiece Theatre. I looked over to Mark who was already staring in my direction, bewildered.

Mark: What does he need all that ice for? We never travel with ice.

Me: Mom, is Dad transporting human organs across state lines? If you guys need some gas money just say so.

Of course, she doesn't understand our amusement. This is a woman who once walked off a four-hour Air Tran flight with several servings of Eggplant Parmesan in her purse.

So, as of dark:thirty today:

• parents are dispatched
• monster television is precariously/temporarily set up on the mantle
• the children are suffering withdrawal from lack of candy, presents and attention

Mom and Dad will be back in a couple of months. Hopefully the ice maker will have replenished our supply by then.